2005-01-26 - 8:25 p.m.
Gravity i. A house was torn down at the top of our street. I left it standing one morning as I set off to work – I came home to a gaping hole in the earth. Hole and machinery steaming in sub-zero weather. Construction on the property begins at 8 every morning and I can feel our own house shifting, windows rattling in their weary frames, concrete floors transmitting vibrations all the way from the basement to my top-floor bedroom, shaking me from sleep. I race to dreams every evening, trying to outsmart the machines, but always they wake me before I wake myself. ii.
Walking in the city has become a series of Chaplin-esque dance numbers, skittering sideways to regain my balance on walks that would be better served by ice skates. If I lose my balance and fall again, will our bruising be symmetrical? Is it already? iii.
I blacked out four times during my yoga practice last week, all during the standing postures. The teacher – and my fellow students, I'm sure – mistook my clumsiness for a wish to fall too quickly into the posture; I folded as I did because I had lost my sight and could hear only ringing in my ears. I could not feel grounded in Samasthitih – my toes had forgotten how to grip the mat. Everything is uprooting.
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