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2005-06-03 - 8:19 p.m. New (firsthand) Discoveries of Things That Shouldn't Have Needed Firsthand Discovering 1. Rotten eggs really are as gross as everyone says. Who would ever want to be the last one out, and smell like that? 2. Crying over spilt milk is silly; crying over wasted brownie batter (see #1) is perfectly legitimate. Especially if your day has been otherwise rainy and blah. 3. "It's really meditative taking care of other people's needs." And way more difficult to take care of myself. Unfortunately, both are very rewarding in the short term. 4. When someone says "I'm pretty much as bad as it gets," you should take their word on it instead of jumping in feet first. 5. Sometimes, butterscotch pudding works just as well as, or better than, an Ativan. 6. There's nothing that a cake can't fix. (Unless the 5th egg you break into your cake batter is rotten. See #s 1 and 2.) 7. Managers who come from chain restaurants, even when they move into fancy beautiful upper-end restaurants, still use weird phrases like "tools for efficiency" instead of "apron and corkscrew." And they take themselves seriously while doing so. 8. Some people WILL crap out on you two nights in a row just because of the weather. (Although the date was for fire poi in the park, and it was raining both nights... so this one might not really be fair and I might just be stretching to find ten items for the list, because somehow a nice round number like ten just feels somewhat more... satisfying...) 9. It doesn't matter how unattractive someone is, they can still be incredibly shallow. It doesn't matter how immature someone is, they can still be attracted to people way out of their emotional league. And it doesn't matter how self-aware you are and how much you know a feeling is temporary, contrived, or due to hunger and/or sleep deprivation. Cuz when you're in the moment of that feeling (especially right after cracking open that last goddamn egg to find it navy blue inside), the world fucking crumbles. ... (I'm totally resisting the neurotic impulse to come up with one more bullshit item, just to make it a nice round 10 items...) ...
--mopheaded was the first one out
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