2006-03-13 - 9:02 a.m.
HOW TO REPROGRAM YOUR SEXUALITY realize that you never had a chance. you were born into this place where they pump pornography in like oxygen, i don't mean hustler and all that shit, either, i mean marlboro and l'oreal and the brady bunch. you work your way up to hustler, you've got to start somewhere. maybe you should take a college-level psychology course or something. mine taught me that stressed out moms make gay babies and schizophrenic geniuses drawing maps of the universe should be locked up but also how you can flash things like shoes on a screen with a naked lady and after not too long the men in the audience will get a hard-on from a single spiked heel. it should make you a little angry to find yourself so programmed, but don't go beating up women. do what i do. walk into the liquor store and shred the st. paulie girl ads in the proprietor's face, have a little argument about how you're a fanatic and why aren't you working to make sure all those corporate women are making as much as all those corporate men, something important, he'll say, but that's ok, maybe what is important is having a sex fantasy that doesn't come from a box, one that madonna wouldn't bother making into a video, where the woman looks like a woman and not a barbie doll, i mean, you're a grown man, doesn't it embarrass you to be lusting after barbie dolls? maybe you've never thought of it that way, maybe you've never thought of it at all, how everything that turns you on is also everything that turns everybody else on which is also everything that everyone from budweiser to the gap is hoping that you'll be turned on by so that you'll push some of that sexy green stuff their way and maybe you want to think about this and decise that your sexuality should be more than the sum of some not-so-subliminal advertising, your father's pornography and whatever relative molested you during childhood but far be it from me to pull you from your lipstick fishnet fuck paradise, you're a grown man, you can make up your own mind. from Tea, Michelle (2004). the beautiful: collected poems. San Francisco: Manic D Press (www.manicdpress.com).
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