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2006-04-29 - 1:50 a.m. Giving up coffee means that my favourite Arizona Green Tea goes straight to my head. Also up there tonight are 2/3 of an American Spirit cigarette* and 3 squares of CacaRouge henna from Lush Cosmetics; my roots have been atrocious for the last couple months. *The woman at 7-11 had to verify with her manager that my driver's licence was an acceptable form of ID. I feel like such an alien sometimes. I just finished watching 6 Degrees of Separation for the umpteenth time tonight. It always makes me cry. There are moments in that play that resonate so closely to my heart... Thinking so much about the construction of life, and then hearing Ouisa Kittredge chastise her husband for turning their life into an anecdote, when it was in fact "an experience"... It's so painfully profound and beautiful. Collage as art form and are we anything more than a (hopefully well-thought-out) assortment of disjointed images juxtaposed one next the other in the most imaginative ways we can? I love the part about paralysis being nothing more than a basic failure of the imagination, the imagination being our passport to the world both outside of us and also to our inner world, our way to look inward and make sense of ourselves. Goddamn I love that movie. I've been considering space. As in personal space, both physical and chronological. Two beautiful women, both whom were expected to move out of C-Light's house for the summer, are instead sticking around for the hot sweaty festival months in Edmonton and so there was discussion to be had over how the 4 of us would most comfortably fit into the 3 bedroom house. And after (with the exception of 3 weeks at Christmas) dating for over a year with at least a 3 hours drive between us most of the time, it was a bit perplexing to have to negotiate how we would best respect one another's needs for physical space but also make space to be together. The resulting arrangement will be beautiful, and I am glad for as much as anything the discussion and the thought that went into creating our concept. I am so looking forward to being living in that house for the summer... sharing space with my lover and two amazing housemates, only 4 short blocks away from the Yoga Loft and only 8 blocks from M'issa's new home. For three whole months!!! And Mosaics, Dadeos, the Fringe, my family, my other friends... So good. Geography seems to kill me every time. I'm finding it interesting, also, that now I have finally begun to feel "at home" in Fresno (by which I mean "not lonesome" because I do not believe this city will ever fully grow on me, and for this I am quite great full) I'm finding the need to make more space for myself. When I hardly went out, I was quite happy to do reams and reams of homework, do my knitting, play with PonyBoy, do yoga... that was about it. Now I'm going out more with friends, being challenged more at school, really growing I guess... I feel as though I need more time to process. So while I ought to be working on papers, I'm instead just sitting for hours on end, just trying to sort out my thoughts. Enjoying the sunshine before it gets too hot and just be ing. It's been a while since I've felt comfortable with, and also needed, this sense of non-busy-ness. It's quite lovely, actually. I feel as though my practicum work has really dredged up a lot of "stuff". Such that I really feel the need to just sit with all that and let it sort itself together into some sort of coherent, cohesive narrative**. But all that aside, I've decided to take the one-on-one counseling practicum again as an elective next term -- or to TA it, whatever works out. I feel I've grown so much from it this term that it woudl be AMAZING to start the whole term over now, knowing what I know... and so I will. And this will give me enough electives to skip the thesis and take the comprehensive exam instead, should I decide to go that route instead. **It is so obvious to me that I am leaning towards a synthesis of feminist and narrative therapy. I hope I can make that work in a family therapy setting. I'm sure much of that school shit went over some heads. Oh well. Ask me about it if you want to know more, kids. A friend and his 2-year old son are coming over to make Lisa and I dinner on Sunday night -- the son acting as "moral support" (as his father puts it) in the kitchen. He will be sub-letting my room this summer, assuming my landlord approves the arrangement, so we wanted The Kid and Lisa to meet ahead of time, make sure the Joint Custody won't be painful for anyone. The child is, of course, in love with PonyBoy and the two*** cats, so all should be well. It's kind of a mutant love, thought, as "in theory" he thinks he is afraid of dogs, but "in practice" loves my dog... so, like, he called PB KitKat for the first few minutes of joyfully knowing him and playing with him, at which point Dad corrected him and said, "It's a Doggy" and The Kid got a bit frightened and took another few minutes to warm back up to the ScaryDogCreature. ***Forgot to mention that, didn't I? Lisa got a new cat named Julio. He is a peach. I am deeply in love with his antics.
CUTEST!!! (except for PB himself, of course, who is cuter than anything under the sun but that pretty much goes without saying...) Sorry, this one was pretty random. I thought about adding some links but decided to go to bed instead. So there! --mopheaded... addicted to ellipses
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